#the movie was really stupid about how it revealed information and I’m so miffed about it
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So my issue with Golden Freddy in the fnaf movie is actually like 7 issues. he’s not visually distinct enough from normal Freddy which is bad for people not familiar with the franchise who are going to walk away possibly totally unaware that he was another character. This could be fixed if they incorporated the ONE THING that is iconic about golden freddy which is the fact that he sits slumped over on the floor.
In the games the pacing is totally totally different and it leads to a really effective sequence of events. Kids were murdered -> they were put in these suits -> there’s one animatronic we aren’t familiar with and it looks and behaves differently -> we learn about the walk-about/springtrap suits, which don’t have exoskeletons in them -> the killer used the bunny suit meaning he was an employee -> the OTHER suit is a bear suit -> oh my god, that’s golden freddy.
And then from there we can infer that golden freddy must have been the FIRST murdered child and that’s likely why the behavior of the animatronic is so weird and why the message of “it’s me” is connected to him. being slumped over isn’t (just) part of the scare-factor, it’s because he doesn’t have an exoskeleton to prop him up and allow him to move about.
#zoeposting#fnaf#the movie was really stupid about how it revealed information and I’m so miffed about it#because that core idea is REALLY GOOD.#I have lots of other complaints especially about the William Afton and ghost info dumps but. that’s a later post.
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You know, when I reblogged that, it was mostly to showcase an issue that’s been present for YEARS, but keeps cropping up every now and then because most of Channel Awesome’s fans still think it’s 2010. If I had a Patreon dollar for every person who asked me something about “____ DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY!” despite that not being a thing I’ve done for over half a decade, I would probably not have to worry about paying off that damaged tire, or any future repairs to my car and/or PC. Long story short, they aren’t very good at letting things go.
I know people who want me to share my story are hoping for the same level of juicy gossip or levels of hypocrisy or betrayal that have accompanied so many of these other stories but I’m sorry to say it’s not quite that interesting, or even remotely “gotcha” in any sense of the word. If anything it’s more a reveal of how the company feels about its low-tier producers, and symptomatic of the larger issue that they clearly DON’T want anyone but the Chicago crew, or anyone that’s possibly bringing in their own audience. Remember when JonTron and PBG posted on Blistered Thumbs? I’m pretty sure they’re still kicking themselves over that one. As a bit of background, I always wanted to be on the CA site in some form, and by the time I had a show to offer up, I was already pretty close friends with a lot of the producers. In fact, it was Julien (Sad Panda) who decided to post up one of my videos in his schedule slot as a way to offer me a test spot. It was well recieved enough, but video games were almost always relegated to BT at the point, so off I went.
Despite being the more “respected” site by some audiences, all snafu’s aside, I felt that Channel Awesome treated Blistered Thumbs producers as second class citizens. Posting on there was like the Wild West. You put up whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted, and as often as you wanted, and hoped someone with a show that consisted of a three-hour long livestream split up into 15 minute increments wouldn’t end up pushing your video off the main page slider within the next few hours. It was very much for that reason I pursued some means to get myself listed on the main site by cleaning up the YEARS worth of spam and reported comments. After bringing it to the right people, I was permitted to post videos on the main site as well. It went well enough... for a while.
Once BT was shut down, a few of my friends (specifically MegaGWolf) were unceremoniously let go without an ounce of communication. (Most everyone on BT who wasn’t brought on to the CA “merger” had to find out via friends, as Michaud didn’t directly inform them.) Despite the promise of rebranding and stronger promotion, the BT audience didn’t really follow over to CA as the site didn’t really fit their desires, and the core CA audience was basically “NC, Linkara,and that’s it.” Views tanked and it was around the time I decided to move over to Youtube as the Blip waters were already pretty troubled.
At some point I started doing relatively well on Youtube, to the point CA felt like an annoying afterthought. I had to make special titlecards for CA as they had a ridiculous format I’d purposefully ignore later on just to see if they were paying attention. For example, the images were all supposed to be JPGS, though I always made them PNG, and since they were hotlinking them from my site anyway, WHY DID IT FUCKING MATTER?! It most felt like this ridiculous push for control and a power play that no one bothered to enforce anyway. Each time we scheduled we had to provide a link, a title, and a link to a special made titlecard. Did you have a special instruction or link you wanted to include when posting on CA? Good fucking luck they would ever include it, or spell half that shit correctly. Hell after a while, I figured it was pretty non-coincidental that after changing the title format from “MMO Grinder: Name of Game” to “Name of Game - ChaosD1,” views coming from CA were barely a percentile of the overall views I’d get from every other source. It wasn’t worth making them a stupid special title card and hopping onto a painfully broken scheduling site (a site that, by the way was designed for Sporting Events, and was so filled with non-updated dead links I occasionally would troll them by posting my category as “Blistered Thumbs” and “The Inebriati” both still available in the category dropdown menu. I’ll bet you they are still there to this day.
My issue didn’t come about until a sudden rule change. A rule I didn’t really have an issue with until the market started dying down, and my constant crushing depression over winter and my wife’s illness kicked in. Basically, “Post one video a month, or you’re stricken from the site.” later on that was changed to TWO videos per month and my show was almost always a ONCE per month deal. Seemed a bit suspect and draconian. There were people who didn’t post videos for several MONTHS that were still listed on the site, but they suspiciously had pretty strong followings elsewhere. Still I figured some form of warning or amnesty would take place to some extent. So in April of 2017 it was a pretty shitty month. Most of it was spent working on Eternal Crusade which was such a miserable slog none of us felt like doing much of anything else, there were no games to Sidequest for the suddenly required 2nd video per month, and I was pretty sure I was going to get some flak for it.Keep this in mind, I was WELL AWARE of the risk I was taking by not posting a second video, despite me rather often saying my show was monthly at the most. I figured they might know this, I’d get a warning, and that’d be the end of it. However, I was able to get out Eternal Crusade at the very end of April, but didn’t get around to posting it on the schedule until May 1st. May 1st rolls around, I check the site for any feedback and comments, and notice the video isn’t posted at all.... and I can’t access the scheduler anymore. One day late of posting consistently for 5 fucking years, and I’m locked out of the site like I stole a laptop from the studio. So I hopped on Twitter. Partially to express dismay, and partially because... I noticed I didn’t really have an audience on Channel Awesome anymore. I asked this very specific question and joked with some of the replies, most of whom confirmed my suspicion. They really only watched me on my site or my YT channel.
Still in talking with the CA chat in Skype, (I’d be on that Producer’s chat more often if I didn’t basically swear off Skype after Discord included screenshare. The producers and former producers really should make a Discord channel already.) they informed me that they’d probably reverse their decision if I just contacted Greg. While I didn’t think it was likely worth the effort, I figured I would anyway. Maybe pipe dreams of being included in an anniversary special some day. I just couldn’t wait to be the guy sitting slightly out of camera range in every shot with the one exception of getting to say “What should we do now, Critic?” for my first and only line in the movie. So I contacted Greg. It went a little something like this (for the Skype uninitiated, my words in Blue, Greg’s in grey):
So yeah, always fun to have to wait several days for a sentencing to the crime of being a day late on a post.
Of course, I cropped out the rest of the image, because the response without any contact in-between immediately afterward was this:
Yes I was being a sarcast there. I’m a sarcast... but when I’m last told “we’ll go through everything” and that is immediately followed up by “Sorry I took so long to get back, but... get lost scrub” I’m probably going to be a bit miffed about it. Of course this is CA and you can’t talk bad about them... or post something on Twitter they presume is talking bad about them, as this was the response to my sarcastic reply:
So yeah, Greg not quite understanding the concept of linear time (again I posted the tweet BEFORE I sent him the Skype message, not after) apparently you can’t even ask your audience where they still watch your videos most. They take it as a personal insult, like I didn’t enough appreciate those generous table scraps us low-tier producers had to fight over.
All things considered though, I knew the risk of not posting a second video in that month, and I valued my sanity over tossing out content for the sake of a suddenly imposed deadline. Could I have contacted Greg? Yeah, I suppose so, but why should I even have to? To be only a day late and have everything stricken without warning, like a robot looked over the feed and said “Well a month has passed, and there was only one so fired lel” without considering why, or even checking in on the employee in question, is the kind of corporate "numbers-only” bullshit that I swore off retail for. It’s fitting so many people in charge of Channel Awesome used to work at Circuit City is all I’m saying.
So that’s it. Nothing major, something I basically brought on myself, but still a fairly telling story of how you’d be treated as a content producer on that site.
And to all the current and remaining producers that aren’t showing up to the studio every day, or have a sizable enough audience to make a dent if you were to leave... they don’t WANT you there. They do not care about you. You are a liability. The very second they have a logical-to-them reason to cut your ass from the site, they will. Why put yourself through all that stress for a job that makes demands of you, without even paying you, promoting you, or benefiting you in any way? You know they don’t care about that site now that they are where they are with their YouTube channel. (Currently there are two producers that haven’t posted since December, that are still listed on the site. I must have been a special exception, or maybe it doesn’t matter if you don’t have a video as long as you keep telling them you don’t.) You’re white noise to them. Stay or go. As much as you think it might, it probably won’t make a difference to you...
...but it definitely won’t make a difference to them.
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OUAT Episode Analysis- Leaving Storybrooke
Well, folks, here it is. We’ve come to the final episode of Once Upon a Time. In spite of everything, regardless of which characters and ships you liked or disliked, regardless of which plotlines or seasons you might have felt were bad, I think we can all agree that this was an experience. One that has probably changed us forever.
The final episode ends where the last one left off. Robyn and Alice have traveled to Storybrooke to try and gather up some reinforcements to help Henry and company in Wish World. And the first people they run into are the Dwarfs, Granny and Archie. Of course, there’s the slight issue that, as far as the people in Storybrooke are concerned, Henry has only just graduated High School, which means Alice and Robyn have to explain that they’re from the future and have traveled back in time via Gothel’s curse. However, their explanation results in the Dwarfs and Granny acting with hostility, with Granny even aiming her crossbow at the two young women, forcing them to run for their lives. To be honest, this part really bothered me. While I can appreciate how the people of Storybrooke have had a long history of a new Big Bad popping up every other week and all, Alice and Robyn were clearly trying to ask for their help. And it wasn’t as if villains were the only people coming into Storybrooke. Remember that when Ariel first appeared in town, she was there asking for help. And Elsa also was not a threat when she arrived, either. So their less-than-gracious welcome was rather uncalled for. While I get that the notion that Alice and Robyn had come from the future when Henry was an adult with a wife and daughter might have been a big pill to swallow, it wasn’t that unheard off. I’m sure everyone in town has heard of Emma and Killian Prime’s time traveling adventure by now. So what was their deal with trying to attack Alice and Robyn?
Fortunately, after they’ve escaped the angry mob, Robyn spots Past!Regina’s car driving by. Speculating that Regina would believe their story if they told her Henry was in trouble, they approach the car. Only to find that the car was being borrowed by Past!Zelena, who was in the process of driving a much younger Robyn to daycare. Past!Zelena explains that Regina was out of town, as she and Emma had taken Henry on a post-graduation trip. (So, Henry didn’t immediately leave on his soul-searching quest after he graduated?) Not deterred by this, Robyn proceeds to try and convince Past!Zelena that she’s an older version of the five-year-old sitting in the car, using her knowledge of her mother’s quirks to back up her claim. This seems to convince Past!Zelena, as she digs out the old magic bean she had stored away for a rainy day.
Incidentally, isn’t brining Past!Zelena into this going to create a significant timeline issue down the road? Because this means the Zelena we’ve seen throughout the season already knew that all of this was going to happen. Unless she drinks a forgetting potion like the way Past!Rumpelstiltskin did during the CS movie.
Back in the Wish World, Henry Prime, Rumpelstiltskin Prime and Wish Killian have found themselves within the Snowglobe prison, where Henry Prime is reunited with Parallel Ella and Lucy. As the three try to figure out how to stay warm, Rumpelstiltskin Prime admits that when Wish Henry used the Author’s pen to strip Alice of her mantle of Guardian, it somehow ended up taking away Rumpelstiltskin Prime’s powers as well. Not sure how that worked, but at this point, there’s no point in questioning it. Either way, it means that Rumpelstiltskin Prime is just as susceptible to the cold as the rest of them, and has no way of freeing them from their snowy prison. Wish Killian, however, refuses to give up and insists on continuing to try and find a way to break out of the Snow Globe by testing different areas of the glass siding periodically for weak points.
It’s here that Wish Killian and Rumpelstiltskin Prime have a moment of some sort. Rumpelstiltskin Prime basically admits he’s always secretly admired his former advisory’s unwavering determination and good heart, stating that that’s why he kept Wish Killian as his partner in the Hyperion Heights police force even after waking up. He even states that he feels that Wish Killian was the closest thing he ever had to a friend. Which is kinda nice, if not for the fact that he tried to kill Killian Prime and the people he cared about on more than one occasion. Then again, maybe the only reason why this scene is even believable is because this isn’t Killian Prime. It’s rather convenient that they can use that detail to brush over everything that went down between S4-6.
At that moment, out of nowhere, Maui’s fishhook appears in front of them. When Wish Killian uses it to free them all from the Snowglobe, it’s revealed that Alice and Robyn were responsible for its appearance. Not sure how they managed to locate Maui’s fishhook, because I seem to remember Gothel confiscated that particular item. So how were they able to find where she stashed the thing? It’s also shown that Past!Zelena ended up tagging along when they portal jumped to Wish World. However, there’s no time to celebrate their escape, as Robyn, Alice and Past!Zelena had found a notice posted on a tree outside, announcing that Wish Henry plans to execute Regina at dawn.
Meanwhile, Regina was being confronted by Wish Henry, who makes it very clear that he intends to make sure she pays for murdering Wish Snowing. Regina tries to explain that it was all a mistake and that she didn’t mean to kill them, which is rather stupid. What, she just accidentally crushed their hearts? Even if she hadn’t figured out at the time that Wish Snowing were real people (which was extremely moronic to begin with), she still knew exactly what she was doing. Just saying, Regina. Instead of trying to make excuses, maybe you should try and own up to what you did and apologize to Wish Henry.
Regardless, Regina goes on to try and beseech Wish Henry to look inside himself and find the brave and kind person she knows him to be. She even states that, in another version of reality, she is Henry’s adoptive mother. And because of that, she doesn’t want to see anything happen to Wish Henry. As one would expect, Wish Henry isn’t swayed by Regina’s words and announces that she will die in the morning for what she’s done.
Later on, Regina is, I guess, having some sort of dream sequence where she’s visited by the spirit of Robin. In the dream, Spirit Robin gives Regina a bit of a pep talk, stating that perhaps she can find a way to convince Wish Henry that no one’s path is set and that he can let go of his desire for vengeance. The topic then turns to the sorrow that their lives together was so short. Now for the record, I was overall okay with Outlaw Queen. At least when Robin wasn’t being reduced to Regina’s glorified arm candy. But this scene seemed to come out of nowhere. I might have forgotten, but I don’t think Regina mentioned Robin once during this whole season. Not even when she was starting to get into that whole quasi-relationship with Facilier. Not that Regina seemed all that upset upon learning that Facilier died, of course. (How did those two even meet again? They never explained.) Personally, I think it would have made more sense for Robin’s spirit to come to Robyn. After all, we’d already seen her discussing how much she wished she’d gotten to know her namesake in 7x14. So why couldn’t Spirit Robin drop in to say hello to the daughter he never got the chance to know? It’s a bit annoying how Robin is once again being reduced to being nothing more than Regina’s love interest. Not to mention I’m kinda miffed how we never got to see Roland again. Why can’t Robyn get the chance to meet her half-brother?
Anyway, Henry and the rest of the New Nevengers come up with a plan to rescue Regina from Wish Henry’s dungeons. The plan involves Wish Killian and Robyn creating a diversion so Henry can sneak in and free Regina. During this scene, we get a rather endearing interaction between Wish Killian and Robyn. It seems that the curse on Wish Killian’s heart is getting worse, leading him to think that his time is almost up. So he asks Robyn to look after Alice for him after he dies. This leads to Robyn admitting that she’s planning on marrying Alice when the time is right, and she asks for Wish Killian’s blessing to propose, with Wish Killian gladly granting it. In gratitude, Robyn informs Wish Kilian that she refuses to accept that he’ll die, stating that no matter what, he’s going to be around to walk Alice down the aisle. With that said, Wish Killian and Robyn initiate the distraction, with Wish Killian charging at Wish Henry’s soldiers with his sword drawn and Robyn firing off a few arrows.
Down in the dungeons, Henry manages to locate Regina’s cell, but before he can get her out, they’re discovered by more of Wish Henry’s guards. For a few tense moments, it looks as if Henry is in a real pickle. But then, out of nowhere, Snow and Charming appear. I guess they were told about Robyn and Alice’s brief appearance in Storybrooke and, unlike Granny and the Dwarfs, weren’t so quick to dismiss their claims. And as such, have come to provide some backup. Although, this brings up another issue. Because Snow and Charming now know that Henry and company will eventually wind up here after Young Henry leaves on his soul-searching quest. If that’s the case, how come Emma, Killian Prime, Regina and Zelena were caught unawares by all the stuff that went down throughout the season? Just saying, Snow doesn’t have the best track record in keeping her mouth shut.
Time Travel Paradoxes aside, Snow and Charming convene with the New Nevengers in the Wish World equivalent of their old war room, where they discuss the matter of how to defeat Wish Rumpelstiltskin and figure out how to free Wish Henry from his grip. It’s here that Wish Rumpelstiltskin’s ultimate plan is revealed. Basically, he’s taking advantage of the fact that Wish Henry also holds the position of the Author. Apparently, if the Author’s heart is filled with enough anger and malice, it can trigger some kind of spell that can trap people within their own personal Prison Book. Once inside the Prison Book, the captured person is doomed to an eternity of isolation. And Wish Rumpelstiltskin has a Prison Book for everyone. (I wonder. Were A&E making an intentional reference to the Myst game series here, or is this just a coincidence?) There’s also a scene when Wish Rumpelstiltskin tests out this Prison Book spell on Wish Blue Fairy. Because, yeah, Rumpelstiltskin is racist against fairies no matter which version it is. Once Snowing and the New Nevengers learn of this plan, they set off to find a way to stop him. Snowing decide to go off and try and inspire the people of the surrounding villages to not lose hope. Not sure what that would accomplish, to be honest. Maybe they felt that, if the New Nevengers couldn’t find a way to prevent everyone from getting trapped, then the trapped people would still have hope that they could escape and therefore not give into despair. Either way, I can’t help but think this might have resulted in a lot of confused villagers. After all, in Wish World, Snow and Charming were not only dead, but had also been considerably older. Wouldn’t seeing a younger version of the dead monarchs lead to a lot of confusion?
Regardless, Wish Killian, Henry, Alice and Robyn head off to try and find Rumpelstiltskin Prime, who has been off doing his own thing (which involved him revisiting his memories of Belle via dreamcatcher and being morose over the fact that he probably won’t be able to rejoin her in the afterlife now that the Guardian no longer exists). And Regina goes off to face Wish Henry, in the hopes that she can convince him to let go of his anger so the Prison Book spell couldn’t be cast. Can’t remember where Parallel Ella, Lucy and Past!Zelena went during this whole thing. They just kinda disappeared from the episode at this point. Maybe they went with Snow and Charming? Who knows?
When they locate Rumpelstiltskin Prime, he reveals that he’s discovered Wish Rumpelstiltskin has managed to squirrel away a bit of backup magic in case he ever found himself of need of it. Rumpelstiltskin Prime decides to utilize that bit of magic in order to rip out Wish Rumpelstiltskin’s heart. If he can do that, then it will all be over. (Wasn’t that what they tried to do with Evil Queenie Poo when Regina drank the Jekyll Juice? Look how well that one went over.) However, it doesn’t matter, because Wish Rumpelstiltskin makes his appearance known at that point and proceeds to gloat that he’s already succeeded in corrupting Wish Henry’s heart. To prove his statement, he conjures up the Prison Books for Henry, Wish Killian, Robyn and Alice. And because Wish Henry is, at that very moment, engaged in a duel with Regina, the Prison Book spell begins to activate, with the five of them getting sucked towards their individual Prison Books.
This scene gets rather nail biting, as Henry, Robyn, Alice, Wish Killian and Rumpelstiltskin Prime are all trying to hold on to a nearby long table for dear life, but it’s clear that they won’t be able to hold on forever. This is driven home when Alice starts to lose her grip, much to Robyn and Wish Killian’s horror. In desperation, Wish Killian, disregarding his cursed heart, maneuvers himself close enough to Alice to grab hold of her just as her grip on the long table fails.
However, in the nick of time, Regina manages to get through to Wish Henry, stating that he isn’t alone that his life means everything to her, etc. etc. This apparently works, as Wish Henry relents, allowing Regina to embrace him. To be honest, this seemed a bit anticlimactic, but I guess Wish Henry was already starting to second guess himself, since he’d realized Regina willingly approached him despite knowing that he probably wouldn’t have listened to what she had to tell him. But the moment he gives up on getting revenge on Regina, the Prison Book spell stops.
Unfortunately, it seems like it’s too late for Wish Killian, as the effort involved in keeping Alice from getting sucked up into her Prison Book resulted in his cursed heart completely giving out. As a devastated Alice cradles his body in her arms, Rumpelstiltskin Prime has a final confrontation with Wish Rumpelstiltskin. They pretty much go back and forth for a bit over which version of them is the strong one, with Wish Rumpelstiltskin stating that Rumpelstiltskin Prime has become a pathetic shell of his former self and Rumpelstiltskin Prime stating that he’s actually evolved into the strongest form of himself. Eventually, Rumpelstiltskin Prime reveals he’s finally learned the moral of the story- that doing good doesn’t count if you’re only doing it for the reward. You have to do the right thing just because it’s the right thing. With those words, he uses the magic he got from Wish Rumpelstiltskin’s backup stock to rip out his own heart so he can place it within Wish Killian’s body. This ends up killing not just Rumpelstiltskin Prime but Wish Rumpelstiltskin as well. Okay, that’s great and all. But I’m still scratching my head over how Wish Rumpelstiltskin’s life was somehow tethered to Rumpelstiltskin Prime. It’s not as if they were connected through Jekyll Juice the way Regina and Evil Queenie Poo were in S6. Just saying, it’s not as if Wish Killian would die if Killian Prime died.
Also, how would this magical transplant thing help bring Wish Killian back to life? It didn’t exactly help Victor Frankenstein’s brother. Or Daniel. The only known case of this working was with Snow and Charming, when they performed the heart spilt. And it was pretty much stated that this only worked because Snow and Charming were True Love. So how exactly would Rumpelstiltskin Prime’s heart bring Wish Killian back to life?
Regardless of how it doesn’t make a lot of sense, it still works. Not that I’m complaining, of course. Especially since it means that Wish Killian is no longer affected by the Curse of the Poisoned Heart, which enables him to properly hug Alice at last. And because Rumpelstiltskin Prime died doing the right thing for the right reasons, and without caring about the reward, he ends up being granted a reprieve. Which allows him to reunite with Belle in the afterlife. Those of you who know me know that I’ve been more or less opposed to Rumbelle since the start of S4. But to be honest, I guess I can live with this. After all, it really seems as if Rumpelstiltskin FINALLY learned his lesson this time and realized that good deeds don’t count if you’re only doing them to earn brownie points. That’s kinda on par with Christian teachings. Even someone who repents of their sins at the last minute is granted forgiveness. The ONLY thing that bothers me about how this turned out is the fact that we’re told Rumpelstiltskin’s happy ending doesn’t in any way include his LIVING SON! What’s poor Gideon supposed to do now? He’s completely alone in the world now.
Also, I noticed something during this episode. Wish Henry seems to have a scar above his eyebrow. And in that scene when Young Henry was fighting the dragon at the start of the last episode, he ended up getting a nasty cut in the same place. Does that mean that was actually supposed to be Wish Henry in the opening scene of last episode? If so, why was Wish Rumpelstiltskin saying he came all the way from the Wish Realm? Wouldn’t the fact that we were looking at Wish Henry mean we were IN Wish World? I’m so confused.
And now, we’ve come to the aftermath. An undetermined amount of time later, Henry Prime and Wish Henry both approach Regina, who has been off on her own reflecting on everything that has happened. It’s here that Regina reveals she’s got an idea. She’s found the Wish World version of the scroll she’d used to cast the original Dark Curse (because Wish Regina never got the chance to utilize it.) She states she plans on using it, but with some drastic alterations. Instead of crushing the heart of the thing she loves the most, she plans to combine the love of all the people she cares about to turn the Dark Curse into something else. Basically, instead of bringing people into the Land Without Magic and separating everyone, this new twist on the Dark Curse will essentially merge all of the magical realms together. In other words, all the different realms in the entire multiverse will be joined together into one gigantic realm tucked away inside a pocket dimension located in a secluded corner of Maine.
Okay, to be perfectly honest, I’m still unsure how I feel about this. I mean, at face value, I can see how that might be cool. As Regina points out, it would mean that nobody would be separated from one another by dimensional barriers anymore. And you wouldn’t have to worry about locating a magic bean anymore to realm jump. (Though I suppose that’s going to put Anton out of a job.) Not to mention the obvious pros. This would mean that Emma would now be able to visit her friend, Elsa, at any time. And it’ll be that much easier for Ruby to swing by with Dorothy to see Granny and her BFF, Snow, during certain weekends.
But there are some pretty significant problems that I don’t think they bothered to address before they came up with this idea:
1) What if the people who lived in the different realms didn’t want to be directly linked to Storybrooke? Granted I got the impression during, that whole flyby of the newly established United Realms, it still looks like each realm is still granted their own designated area. They’re not made an actual part of Storybrooke. I guess it could be compared to the United States, in a way. Texas and California are technically part of the same county, but they’re still able to be treated as separate from one another. But even so, it’s rather presumptuous of Regina to make the decision to combine all the realms together without bothering to see how the people in all the different realms felt about it. Considering the way Grumpy and the others greeted Alice and Robyn when they first arrived in Storybrooke, I can see the people in the other realms wanting as much distance between them and that town as possible.
2) Wouldn’t this introduce a lot of new dangers to Storybrooke and the other realms? If you’re going to connect all the realms together, you’re kinda making it easier for ogres, the Jabberwocky, and people like Blackbeard to have limitless access to areas they didn’t have before. Not to mention the fact that there might be certain diseases that could now spread rampant, leading to possible epidemics. Just saying, think of how many Native Americans died from things like smallpox when the Europeans brought the disease over with them. In much the same way, there might be a particular illness that the people of Oz have developed a natural immunity to while denizens of Wonderland might have never been exposed to it before.
3) The fact that Wish World is being included in this whole plan is going to potentially lead to a lot of confusion. Because there’s now going to be two versions of practiclly everybody. We’re talking two Grannys, two Augusts, two sets of Dwarfs etc. The only people in Storybrooke who won’t have a doppelganger are Snowing and Geppetto, since Wish Snowing and Wish Geppetto are dead. And of course Emma, because I think we’re now supposed to conclude Wish World and its entire history was created around Emma. On the other hand, there’s probably going to be THREE Reginas running around- Regina Prime, Evil Queenie Poo (who had settled into Enchanted Forest Prime with Wish Robin) and the now elderly Wish Regina. I’m sorry, but do we really need that many Reginas? To quote Killian Prime from 3x05: ‘I can barely stomach one.’
4) The obvious time paradox going on right now. If this whole ordeal in Hyperion Heights and Wish World have been taken place in the past, around the time when Young Henry left home in 7x01, then wouldn’t this mess around with the timeline? So, you’re telling me that Henry Prime was off adventuring in Parallel Enchanted Forest at the same time that Post-Adventure Regina was merging all the realms together? If that was the case, shouldn’t Pre-Adventure Regina have already known everything was going to happen? Not to mention that this probably means Robyn has to share legroom with her five-year-old self. Show, you’re not Doctor Who! You don’t get to throw this Wibbly-Wobbly-Timey-Wimey crap at me!
Regardless, this plan of Regina is put into effect. And in the big fly-by over the new United Realms, we see quite a few cameos. While I’m sure I’m missing some, I believe I spotted the Nautilus, Tinkerbell, the Queen’s Castle from the Enchanted Forest, Camelot (I think), Oz, Arendelle, the Beanstalk, Agrabah, and the Land of Untold Stories. We also catch a glimpse of a dragon. According to an off-camera conversation between Regina and Zelena, the dragon we see is Lily. Indecently, we FINALLY get acknowledgement that Lily tracked down her Dragon Daddy. Turns out that the mystery father was Zorro. Because apparently Zorro can turn into a dragon in this universe. Interesting choice.
But that brings us to the final epilogue. Zelena is bringing Regina to Snow and Charming’s castle in the Enchanted Forest Prime sector. (Wonder where Chad was during this scene. Didn’t Zelena end up marrying him?) It’s revealed that they plan on crowning Regina as the supreme ruler of the United Realms. Ugh, yeah. Don’t get me wrong, because as I’ve said before, I’ve mostly been okay with Regina throughout this season. But why should she get to be the Supreme Ruler? Why does there even need to be a Supreme Ruler in the first place? You can’t tell me all the other royals were okay with this. People like Tiana & Naveen, Elsa, Jasmine, Rapunzel Prime, Guinevere, Merida, Thomas & Ella Prime, Abigail & Fredrick, and Anastasia and Will from Wonderland Prime. Are they all supposed to defer to Regina now? You can’t seriously tell me that they all were okay with that. But that’s what Snow is claiming, so whatever. Which reminds me- we get a brief appearance of Little Neal during this scene. He’s actually stopped being a baby. It looks like he’s now….maybe five or six? I’m not really good at guessing the ages of little kids simply by sight. But the point is that he’s actually not stuck as a baby anymore. So kudos to him.
And so Regina gets crowned as Supreme Ruler of the United Realms. Although, there is a much welcome interruption to the proceedings. Namely Emma and Killian Prime, who come bursting in after arriving late. (With Emma announcing that she’s sorry that she’s late, which was obviously meant to be a callback to how Regina crashed Snow and Charming’s wedding in the Pilot.) The explanation is that their newborn daughter was being fussy and that’s what had delayed them. Even though I knew it was coming, it was still such a joy to see Emma again, looking as gorgeous as ever. She even was wearing her trademark red leather jacket over the pretty pink dress she wore for the occasion. And Killian Prime (who apparently still has his pirate regalia) really did look like a slightly disheveled first-time father. Even though there were moments when the baby he was carrying was so obviously a doll. Also, I can’t tell you how thrilling it was to hear Emma actually refer to Killian Prime as Henry’s stepfather. Yeah, I realize that’s what he was all along, but to just hear it verbalized was wonderful. And yes, we learn the CS baby was named Hope. While it’s not the name I would have picked, since I think that’s a bit too flowery, I guess it makes sense. Especially considering the lives Emma and Killian Prime led before they found each other, and how their love story unfolded.
Once the excitement of Emma, Killian Prime and Baby Hope’s arrival has died down, the coronation of Supreme Ruler Regina continues. Again, why was Regina picked for this role? Wouldn’t Emma have been the better choice? Not only was she the one who originally brought everyone together through her role as the Savior, but she was also the one who was robbed of her royal birthright. Wouldn’t it have been more satisfying to see Emma finally being recognized as the ruler she was always meant to be? Look, I get that Regina was the one who came up with this whole idea of the United Realms and all. But as much as select Regina fans would like to think otherwise, Regina wasn’t the main character. Emma was. So why is the final episode so focused on Regina? For crying out loud, she wasn’t even the focus of this final season. This season was supposed to be predominantly about Henry, and he barely did anything in this series finale. But I guess it’s pointless to harp on it, as it’s already said and done. At least the ending montage was beautifully done. Yeah, during Supreme Ruler Regina’s coronation speech, in which she talks about how there are sure to be many more adventures, we get an amazing montage sequence that exhibits various moments from the show’s entire run. I won’t deny that I LOVED that moment. It was so nice to be able to look back on how far this show has come. At the same time, this montage really drove home that this was it. This was the final episode of Once Upon a Time. And if that wasn’t enough, the episode even ends with one final glimpse of Storybrooke, including the Yellow Bug (which is thankfully not encased in stone along with Stone Troll), ending with a shot of the green road sign that reads ‘Leaving Storybrooke.’
And that’s it, folks. Our show has come to an end. While I knew this day would come eventually, and I’m glad it came when it did, it still feels surreal. We’re never going to see our favorite characters again. This will be the last time we see them grace our TV screens. Sure, we still have the novelizations, which I will probably read at some point. And I believe Jen and Colin said they would not be opposed to making a Captain Swan movie at some point. But even if that movie never gets greenlighted, I think it’s safe to say that this is a show that will live on in my heart, in spite of the issues that sprung up throughout the years. And I will always be grateful to the show’s seven years, and the friends I made within the fandom.
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#ouat episode analysis#ouat 7x22#ouat finale#henry mills#parallel!cinderella#lucy mills#regina mills#zelena#robyn hood#alice jones#wish world!killian#rumpelstiltskin#wish world!Rumpelstiltskin#wish world!henry#snow white#prince charming#emma swan#killian jones#hope swan jones#robin hood#belle french#snowing#captain swan#outlaw queen#rumbelle#swan jones family#knightrook#curious archer#glass believer
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